I am very confused about what to do in my life right now. So very confused that I am literally in tears..but it feels good to let emotions out. I am not sure if many of you know, but I have been subbing long term with a girl who has Smith-Magenis Syndrome in Kindergarten. I was asked to help this girl and be her "shadow" for February and March or longer on substitute parapro pay ($45 a day). I thought this was no big deal to help a little girl when she needed me and it would be consistent pay since subbing isn't consistent...I could do it! I told the principal I would do it for Feb and Mar. Well my first two days consisted of this girl kicking, screaming, running down the hall, pulling my hair and not caring a lick about what I said. Being the person I am and from my background in education, I knew I needed to do some behavior chart. I put a chart in place and she started to understand and grasp it with, of course, rocky days in between. She also has a hard time focusing so I do one-on-one teaching with her in a Special Ed. room. I am with her all day long except for my 30min lunch break. I do a lot of changing her thinking so she will think something is fun in her mind to get her to do things like to write her name. It is mentally exhausting some days. I do a lot of instructional games and her teaching me because she gets excited about it. Most days I go home and think about what I can do to help her learn so I print off things, make things with her, etc. Well I recently started seeing improvements with her identifying her numbers, handwriting...a few things but not huge improvements.
In my mind and correct me if I am wrong but I stay with her all day long, teach her, constantly am beside her or else she is getting into something, she considers me her teacher so I am NOT really a parapro (teacher´s helper) or "shadow" am I? I feel like $45 a day which equals out to around $6.10 an hr before taxes is not enough for all that I am doing. I told myself at the end of March I was going to ask for substitute teacher pay which is $75 a day if they wanted me to keep working with her.
Yesterday was her evaluation and they wanted to keep me and everything going like it is till May and do another evaluation. I was determined to ask the principal for more money. I talked to her about all that I do and how I am her teacher because I do one-on-one with her. I think about things after work that can help her learn better and print things, etc. I told her with my qualifications (Bachelors degree in Elem. Ed and Deaf Ed.) and how much effort I am putting in with her I feel I deserve substitute teacher pay. She said she is not the person to talk to and I asked her if she could check and get back with me. Well this morning, I was shown an email from the principal sent to other teachers, of this girl, which stated that I was a parapro and I shouldn't be gathering materials, and doing lesson plans. I should only be the girl´s shadow. Well that email showed me that the principal misunderstood me and changed everything that I had said. I like finding lessons for her, she cant focus unless we are one-on-one, and I did a behavior chart to help this girl function and to help my life, of course. I feel I deserve more than parapro pay. I am going to email the principal and clarify our conversation without letting her know I read the email but...
I am still at a fork in the road of my beautiful life. Do I stay with this girl who I am starting to see some improvements in and get paid nothing OR do I say I need substitute teacher pay ($75 a day) or I am leaving because I deserve more. What do you think?
R: Ms. Glenn
Me: Yes
R: Ms. Glenn I love you.
Me: I love you too R____.
R: Ms. Glenn are you sad or happy?
Me: I am happy.
R: Happy all smiley faces. (referring to her behavior chart)
Me: Yes you have been very good today.
4 comments:
Autumn, sounds like you have a heartbreaking decision to make. I don't envy you. I'm sure you should be earning more than $6.10 and hr with your degrees. You worked so hard. You deserve it! It would be hard to give an ultimatum though. Hope whatever happens works out the best for everyone! Good luck.
That is a hard decision to make. I can see why you're struggling. I guess you need to ask yourself a few questions. Is it worth having a reliable job/salary even if it's lower than deserved as opposed to working as a sub and possibly not being able to work every day? Do you feel that what you are doing to help this student is something that only you can do, or is it more taxing on you emotionally than it's worth? What would you do if you asked for the raise and they decided to give your job to someone else? Do you have a backup plan?
I think what you're doing is great, and that girl is lucky to have a teacher like you that is so patient and concerned. I know you'll make the right choice. I love you and will pray for you!
Tough one. It will probably have to come down to how much you like the job vs. how much you need the money and whether or not you could get plenty of subbing jobs to make up for the steady pay. You are definitely worth the larger pay check and it kinda stinks to not get what you're worth, especially after all your hard earned education. Unfortunately, school budgets are in pretty bad shape these days so they will probably try to get by with as little as possible. Good luck! I'm hoping things work out well. xox
Wow, how frustrating! I'm sorry, you should be getting paid teacher pay - not parapro or even sub pay - you're totally her teacher! How did the principal react when you clarified what you meant? This is a tough decision, why can't they just pay you what's fair and right for all your education and hard work! Sorry I'm not super helpful with the decision making - but it sounds like this little girl adores and needs you. I hope it works out. Miss you tons!
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