City Slicker

Several weeks ago, I was invited by my sister and her fiance to go on a backpacking trip to the Wind River Mountains in Wyoming. They promised lots of beautiful scenery, world class fishing, and the possibility of life threatening encounters with bears and other ferocious wildlife. I, always being down with trying something new (like encountering bears in life threatening situations), gladly accepted the offer. Keep in mind that I had never done any hard core hiking like this in my life. In fact, as a boy scout we completed our hiking merit badge by enduring a grueling twenty mile hike through the streets of San Francisco.
Determined to fit in, I did my best to prepare for the worst. I borrowed most of the needed equipment, and asked for advice from anyone who had been on such a trip. I acquired a list of needed supplies from our YM president who takes the older kids to the Wind Rivers every year. Autumn helped me shop for my food and for any items I couldn't borrow. I went on a practice hike and started riding my bike to work in an effort to get in better shape in case I had to fight a bear. I even had a friend offer to lend me his hand gun in case I needed a little help with the bear encounters. I declined the offer and tried not to be offended; after all, he had no idea how well my training was going. As the trip drew closer my confidence waxed strong and I was anxious to begin our adventure.

We reached the trail head late Sunday morning. As we opened the car doors we were greeted by swarms of mosquitoes. I managed to kill five of them with a single blow. Obviously my training was already paying off. After applying massive amounts of Deet (the working ingredient in insect repellent) we were off.
The first couple of miles on the trail were quite pleasant and uneventful. There were some daunting clouds that threatened rain, and forced us to take out our emergency ponchos, only to blow right by without dropping a single drop. This was particularly annoying considering those emergency ponchos come in nice little pouches but once you open them they are impossible to fold back to their original size. On the list of hardest things to fold they sit at number one just above tents and maps.
It was the second two miles that will never be blotted, erased, fried, or replaced from my memory. The next two miles were the definition of hell. We came to switchbacks that crossed their way up a shale mountain side. There weren’t many trees to protect us from the sun. We were walking up the entire time and I quickly came to the realization that I had over packed. My pack got heavier with each off-balanced step. My legs burned. My back ached. And my pits stunk. I was a mess. You know the feeling when you are the weakest link and are holding everyone else back? That was me. That was what made me keep going even though I wanted to curl up and die.
Eventually we made it to the top and stumbled downhill for another two miles until we found a good place to make camp. The trip was much more like a vacation from this point on. It turned out to be a lot of fun and I saw a lot of incredible country. From here I will let the pictures do the talking.

At the trail head ... I had no idea what I was getting myself into

Into the fray! I hear bears like tall brush.

Dark clouds threatened but no rain came.

We ran into a crazy goat lady. She wanted to take a picture of us. Kevin wanted to touch the goats.

"Look at those voluptuous calves," said the mosquitoes. I had 44 bites on that leg from the knee down.

Chillin' at the lake. This is more along the lines of what I signed up for.

We found an old horse skull resting on a tree stump. Horse skulls are fun to play with.

Think a bear wants to mess with this? I didn't think so!

The camera makes the fish look much smaller than it really is. A good way to judge it's actual size is by comparing it to my head.

Lightning is loud when you're up as high as we were. Loud and scary. That's why Duncan and I are cuddling under the one poncho we remembered to bring on our day hike. The white stuff on the ground is hail that was about this size of marbles (also scary).

A bear got into my pack on the last night. Don't believe me? Check out the next picture.

Believe me now? It is clear that bears are all cowards because they have to sneak into people's camps at night when they are sleeping unaware. He probably had heard about all of my training and was scared to face me man to bear.

Sliding down a glacier on the very poncho Duncan and I once cuddled under.

A quarter mile to the car and a short drive to real food. We were sad to leave. Kinda.